Tanith's Spell Casting Blog

Answers to Life's Daily Dilemmas - 2

 Tanith
Posted by Tanith on Mar 24 2010 at 9:44 AM
Tanith's Spell Casting Blog >> Tanith

As you know, the vast majority of my spell casting is to do with love spells.  But naturally, the problems that arise within relationships are often to do with the way we expect our lovers to behave, and when they don't, we feel hurt.  So often a love spell has to cover this aspect of the relationship also.  This week I'd like to talk a little more about the hurt we feel when other people don't behave in a way in which we find acceptable.  Most of the time it is our expectations of the other person that is really the cause of the problem, and sometimes indeed it is that we expect more of that person than they can really give.  So what can we do to avoid being hurt? 

I am fond of quoting the words of the Indian sage Shantideva, and this post is no exception! He wrote that the earth is full of pebbles, sharp rocks and thistles.  So how can we avoid stubbing our toes and being hurt by them?  Are we going to attempt to carpet the whole earth?

No-one is rich enough to attempt to carpet the whole earth wall to wall.  But if we take a piece of strong leather and fix it to the bottom of our soles as sandals or shoes, we can walk anywhere without being hurt.  So it is with our mind.  We can make our minds stronger and more balanced, and see the world for how it truly is.  We then don't need to change the whole world to our specification of how people "should" behave towards us. There is no need for us to be hurt all the time.

How can I expect other people in the world to constantly behave exactly how I want them to?  That is unrealistic.  So what we need to do is to change our attitude.  We can consider the people who annoy us as our teachers, and look at ourselves and see what we may have done to contribute to the problem, even how we can put it right.

We can try to remember that most people in our lives are not deliberately setting out to try to hurt us, that most people genuinely want to do their best in life - it is often our over-reactions, our sensitivities that is the real problem. 

When we feel hurt, we can fall into the habit of lashing out at the person who we feel has hurt us, perhaps face to face or in writing, or even by posting derogatory things on the internet which is a very unhelpful way of going about our lives and creates a lot of bad karma for our future.   It is something that will rebound upon us in the future, without a doubt - we are storing up problems for ourselves when we do such things because inevitably it will come back to us in one way or another.  But most times these people for whom we suddenly create a grudge haven't hurt us at all - we have hurt ourselves by allowing our minds to imagine a slight, read more into their actions than was intended, or by making assumptions about their actions that really were not intended.

The human mind is immensely powerful, so strong, and can really take us over if we let it.   And these assumptions, these imbalances, can cause so many problems in relationships.  So next time before you convince yourself that somebody has deliberately set out to hurt you, stand back and think awhile!  Did they mean to do it?  Were they not just trying their best and happened to "get it wrong" for you at that particular time?  We are all humans, struggling through this and other lifetimes as best we can.  When we are hurting, we often hit out at others because we want them to hurt as much as we do.  Again, that is an unhelpful way of living and will inevitably affect us as our minds get more and more stirred up with it all.

Always look at the intention behind the act, be it your act or another person's, and then you will start to understand yourself and the people around you that bit more.

You can find more about my love spells here.

Take care, and my love to you all, Tanith x

 

“The mind is its own place, and in itself, can make heaven of Hell, and a hell of Heaven.”

John Milton

 


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